As long as I can make them laugh, it doesn’t matter how, I’ll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won’t mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I must avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky.

Writing a wedding speech in the U.S. often bears a burden of humor. In preparing my brother’s wedding speech, I watched a dozen videos of strangers attempting to entertain their guests. They tried to ellict laughter by telling cheesy jokes or humiliating themselves, the groom, the bride, and anyone else they felt close to. In fact, in all of my combing I only watched a single heartfelt and genuine speech.

Why do we turn these ocassions into court jesters’ monologues instead of moments of solemn praise? I wager that honesty and emotional vulnerablity feel unpalatable for most people. When someone requests you champion them, their happiness becomes your master. A sort of irrational, desperate impulse to please them arrests you for fear of permanently damaging your relationship over the smallest grievance.

Peer pressure, familial expectations, and deference to authority represent common sources of cognitive dissonance. Although we know about these social forces, we don’t spend much time analyzing how they influence us in real-time. If I adopted a habitat of regularly inspecting how they impel me, I would likely produce a purer speech.

Unfortunately, I’m too afraid of hurting others.

– DJ Baldee